There Is No Worse Respect Than That Based On Fear

Respect that is based on fear will turn into resentment. So the most appropriate thing is to instill it from loyalty.

Respect is an important piece in life. Thanks to him, healthy relationships are established with others and with oneself, in addition to learning to live in harmony and practice the value of tolerance.

However, there are people who seek respect through fear. Something unfair, forced and unreal that has devastating consequences. Especially when it is synonymous with submission, compliance and / or obedience.

Respect based on fear

Respect based on fear can occur in any type of relationship, although today we will address two of the best known to exemplify this sad reality.

In the family relationship

Respect must be genuine.

The first one is the one that is present in the family environment. Especially when a parent wants to earn, in any way, the respect of their children.

However, even if you are a parent, respect has to be achieved honestly; no cheating of any kind.

  • The mistreatment and threats are negative events. As well as punishing or rewarding depending on what is required of the children and they comply.
  • Although on the surface this may make it more respectful show, the truth is that e s a false respect that, perhaps, end resulting in resentment .

In the couple’s relationship

The second of the relationships in which this may be present, as explained by the expert Aurora Leal García in a study carried out in 2017, is in couples.

Through intimidation, challenges, threats, and even violence, it is intended to obtain what is sought so much: respect. However, this consideration has nothing to do with these wrongdoings.

  • How should respect be earned if not with these despicable acts? With love, becoming or being people worthy of admiration.
  • With these ingredients, you won’t have to force respect or seek it. It will come by itself.

An example for others

Both in the case of the family and in that of the couple, the way in which one earns respect becomes an example to be imitated. Not only from others, but also from the victims themselves.

In the future, as an article published by the Journal of Research in Psychology explains , it is possible that children tend to achieve respect through violence and threats.

Also, they may not even be aware that this is wrong ; as it is what they have been experiencing for years.

Likewise, a person subjected to his partner may act the same in future relationships or with others to feel that she is also in control.

Do not forget that when someone instills fear, their objective is to control the situation and the person in front of them. In this way, he cuts her wings, tries to have her at his mercy and to be and behave as one wants.

Forgotten loyalty, the essence of respect

Respect is generated in different ways.

The respect that originates from fear has its days numbered. It does not last in time because it is not healthy or natural; but something forced and imposed. However, people often forget another aspect that goes hand in hand with respect and that is the true essence of it: loyalty.

The loyalty that children will have towards their parents or that a person has towards their partner does not end just like that. Well, part of the good, of what has been gained with acts sustained in love. However, this is not easy to achieve. 

Sometimes good deeds are not rewarded. However, this does not mean that you do not have to give the best of yourself every day without expecting anything in return. Only by doing this will you discover what others can offer you. Their respect, their loyalty… But not because you have forced them, but because it is you; acting honestly and in the best possible way.

In this way, you will get to feel good about yourself. The happiness that will intoxicate you cannot be compared with anything. And, without a doubt, you will be an example to follow for those around you.

Remember that the best fruits are gathered when one sows healthy seeds. If these are contaminated, you will poison yourself, you will be unhappy and you will do harm.

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