Infidelity: Do Men And Women Perceive It Differently?
Many people who have been the victims of infidelity wonder if they can ever get over it. The answer is very complex because this ‘turning the page’ depends on many factors.
The disappointment that arises towards the couple after knowing the presence of a third person generates negative feelings that degrade the image one had of him or her. Admiration and trust are lost, aspects that are not always easy to restore.
For every couple, an infidelity is a complicated moment that in many cases can lead to the definitive breakdown of the relationship. However, not everyone perceives these indiscretions, sexual or emotional, in the same way.
How do men and women perceive infidelity?
According to this study by a team from the Norwegian University of Science and Technology, men and women differ in their way of interpreting partner infidelity.
For men, sexual infidelity is much more important than for women, leaving behind the so-called emotional infidelity.
In the same way, women tend to give more importance to small gestures related to the emotional connection than to the sexual deception itself.
However, it must be borne in mind that each person is different and that, in general, both sexes react quite badly to a deception of any kind.
Reactions
Infidelity can cause dissatisfaction with the relationship and subsequent separation. However, in some cases the problems could be due more to the different ways in which individuals define this betrayal than to the act itself.
In this sense, we can classify infidelity in three ways: sexual infidelity, intimate infidelity and fantasized infidelity. Each case will have its peculiarities, but it will be included in one of these categories.
Women are prone to identifying certain specific acts as unfaithful. The explanation for this is that they score higher than men on communion measures (the degree to which a person wants to form and maintain positive interpersonal ties).
To face it
The context in which the infidelity has developed is a key factor in assessing its severity, both in terms of duration and emotional involvement.
The fact that there has been an exchange of feelings and a premeditated action makes forgiveness difficult and, therefore, the continuation of the love bond.
1. Reflection and distance
Once the infidelity has been explained or discovered, it is essential to leave time and space for the affected person to decide if they want or can forgive the deception. The initial reaction tends to be one of rejection and disbelief.
However, depending on the circumstances, the victim may even forgive that person. Everything will depend on how it was produced, and if there are expectations of change.
2. Sincerity
Knowing the facts is an essential aspect to be able to accept and forgive. It is essential to be as honest as possible, but this does not mean going into the details. They should be avoided because they produce “free pain” and do not help restore confidence.
3. Breaking ties with the third person
It is necessary to break any type of link or contact with the person in question. This stage must be allowed to close and efforts must be made to rebuild trust.
4. Understand why
It is very important that the deceived party understand the reasons that led to the infidelity. In this way, we can use it for or against the relationship and see what aspects need to be rebuilt and reinforced, if possible.
5. Start over
After an infidelity, you have to create the foundations of trust again. Both parties must commit to putting what happened behind them. This implies that the one who has been unfaithful cannot make the same mistake again.
The deceived, for his part, must make an effort and look ahead to avoid falling into accusations and reproaches.
Consult a psychologist
Specialists recommend going to therapy with a professional. Individuals must also be educated on these gender differences to help ease anxiety.
If the objectives within the relationship are clear and there is enough love, a serious inconvenience such as infidelity can be overcome without problems. However, do not forget that in the end who will have the last word will be the one who has suffered the deception.
