Keys To Achieving A Healthy Affective Relationship
There are many couples who have learned to lead their life together in a harmonious and positive way. Although it seems utopian, it is possible to experience a healthy and happy affective relationship, it just takes a little empathy.
But what is it that distinguishes one couple from another? What are the secrets of those that manage to last over time? Some research seems to have the answer.
According to Aitana Cindocha Romá, in her Final Degree Project presented at the Universitat Jaume I (Spain), couples who are more outgoing and emotionally stable tend to develop much more fruitful relationships (both on a personal and family level). than those that don’t.
But is this alone enough for a relationship to survive? Or are there other points to keep in mind?
Couples with a happy affective relationship: What is your secret?
You may be part of a stable, satisfying and happy emotional relationship yourself. If so, you will know what are the pillars that sustain it, that is, the daily efforts. These are the mechanism by which the daily illusion that sustains any affective bond is found.
In addition, for a relationship to be maintained and satisfactory, two principles must be met: finding the right person and knowing how to maintain a successful and happy coexistence.
As is known, sometimes it is not enough to love each other, sometimes love is not enough. The following dimensions also influence:
1. Listen, respect, communicate
It may seem obvious at first glance. Who does not communicate with his partner? Well, here is a small clarification: dialogue is not the same as communicating.
A positive attitude would be: “I talk to you about my needs, my thoughts, my problems. Therefore, I hope that you will not only listen to me openly. I also hope that you understand me and that you can put yourself in my place ”.
If there is no open communication, if it is not possible to express thoughts and needs aloud, frustration and isolation will appear. Communicate and take care of the other person as well. Put yourself in their shoes, in the same way that you want them to understand your point of view and your needs.
2. Maintain the illusion every day
You may think that once you live with your partner, everything will be achieved. There are people who think that love is something stable and that it is maintained without any effort.
To love is to strive every day, it is to conquer and grow as a couple every moment. Do not neglect the attention between the two, to maintain the language of caresses, hugs; neither are the knowing glances, romantic dinners or weekend getaways. You have to show the person you love that they are the best thing in your life.
3. Respect, freedom, growing as a couple and also as a person
Having a partner does not mean cutting off the wings of personal growth. Therefore, do not give up your friends, your family, or your profession.
All this will make you happy, and happiness affects the couple. If I am proud of myself, if I maintain good self-esteem and a good self-concept, I will bring this emotional stability to the person I love.
At the same time, respect your partner, give him freedom to have his hobbies, to cultivate his aspirations. Thus, two universes can be formed on the same intimate and familiar planet.
Maturing together and letting the years pass harmoniously learning from each other is essential to a loving relationship.
4. Value the other person, avoid selfishness
Careful! Many people make the mistake of thinking and acting always putting ‘I’ first. “I want, I need, I believe, I hope” … It is a high risk, which in the end ends up seriously hurting the couple’s relationship.
This type of selfishness is common in these toxic relationships, where participants are often isolated to a small corner and emotionally sick.
Always value the other person, listen to their voice, their opinions and establish pacts, agreements between the two.
If you start thinking only in the first person, in the end the affective relationship will end up unraveling like a fine tissue unable to support more weight.
Real love doesn’t happen every day
Real love, the one that arises through respect, affection and attraction, is not easy to find. For a couple to work, too, is even more difficult. Each person is different, so when you really connect with someone you have to fight to maintain what unites you to them.
It is likely that you have bad days, that the routine can dampen the illusion and that the spark from the beginning no longer burns as strong as before. It is in those moments when one has to gather courage and rescue those small gestures capable of changing the course of a relationship.
