Tips For “surviving” The First Date
There are several mistakes that people often make when having their first date. It is easy to avoid them when they are detected. Take note!
The dreaded first date is a time when you want to go out as gracefully as possible. Moreover, there are couples that do not form because in that initial meeting there was no “chemistry”. However, you can improve that by following the advice that we indicate in this article.
Don’t be afraid to go on a first date, meet that special someone and open yourself up to the possibilities that are offered to you. Otherwise, you will not know if this first meeting could have led to the man or woman who shares the rest of your life. Therefore, we encourage you to continue reading.
How to overcome the fear of the first date?
There are several things that are stressful: a job interview, a police search when you’re driving (even if you haven’t been speeding) and, of course, a first date.
That I wear? What do I say? How do I act? Where to go? These are questions that you may ask yourself before setting up the meeting. Pay attention to these tips so that you feel less nervous.
1. Be yourself
It may sound simple, but it is not at all. Nerves, anxiety and the fear of being wrong can play tricks on you. It is normal to feel this way and you should remember that the other person is likely to experience the same thing.
Trying to be someone you’re not on a first date is a double-edged sword. As experts in the area advise, you must be yourself:
- You can say what you think the other will be interested or like but, if it is false, then you will have to keep lying every time you see it.
- Better to speak up front, not hide who you are and wait for him to accept you as you have presented yourself.
- Do not worry so much. If he has agreed to an appointment with you, something has interested him.
2. Choose conversation topics
It is not about taking away the whole lesson learned as in school, or having a monologue prepared. Nor does it consist of repeating like a robot responses already thought out in advance.
However, perhaps it would be good to choose the topics of conversation so as not to go blank. Or, perhaps, consider what topics are taboo during a first date. More than anything, you should pay attention to how the other person is feeling about what you are saying.
- If you are passionate about sports, don’t spend an hour praising or criticizing your favorite team. Unless the other is also a fan of it or is excited.
- Do not talk about old partners (neither yours nor someone else’s) as well as politics. This can lead to upset, unpleasant memories, and even unnecessary arguments.
3. Maintain a good attitude
It doesn’t matter if your friends made the date for you or if you had a terrible day at work that day. You should even forget about family problems or bitter memories with an ex.
During the first meeting with that person, try to maintain a good attitude, praise what corresponds (from a hairstyle to a chosen restaurant) and avoid criticism.
Think about how you would like the other person to be with you : kind, attentive, nice, funny… Do the same and you will receive kindness, attention, fun from the other party. Thus, both of you will have a lovely evening and it is likely that you will want to see each other again.
4. Talking is something of two
When people are nervous, they talk too much or say nothing. And, as you well know, extremes are not good.
On the other hand, if silences are formed they do not have to be uncomfortable. Perhaps the other is paying attention to the menu or wants to listen to instrumental music for a few moments.
Also, remember that talking is something of two. You do not want to fill those “empty” spaces with phrases or words that are not pleasant. If you are shy you can choose to be the one asking the questions; But if you are into talking up the elbows, calm down and let the other participate as well.
Do not forget that there is nothing more tedious than listening to a monologue for 2 hours, or having someone in front of you who does not say a word. Try to be fair and try to make the situation as balanced as possible.
5. Split the bill on the first date
Gone are the days when men paid for every expense on a first date. While it is still a sign of chivalry or even romanticism for some women, it can also be interpreted as machismo.
In any case, it will depend on how each person is, but the truth is that dividing the account can be a controversial issue.
In some restaurants, for example, the menu that includes the prices is given to the man so that the woman does not know how much she has spent. However, if you prefer to split the bill, you can say so bluntly.
It is not so bad seen that the woman pays 50% of the appointment because, ultimately, both ate and drank. Even if it is, ask him if you pay half as an act of respect or good will. Later, whether the gentleman in question decides to pay for everything or not is another matter.
6. To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question
There are two attitudes that can determine success or failure on a first date. The first is to talk about sex during dinner (or at any time of the evening), and the second is to try to kiss the other when saying goodbye.
In either situation, several researchers at the University of Arizona advise that you should analyze in detail the signals that the other person gives, what type of future relationship you would like to establish with them, how “rushed” you are, and so on.
Book plans for a second date
Something similar happens with dividing the account. You can make a comment about sex to see how the other person reacts and based on that, stop or continue.
If there is enough chemistry at the end of the meeting and it shows that you both want that goodbye kiss, you have the right to do so. Or you can wait for a second date. It can even be a topic of conversation the next time you see each other!
